Although there are tons of things that scare me about today’s world, one thing I’m so happy to be a part of is a world that discusses mental health so openly. I’m happy to live in a world where we can be open about our mental health. Hopefully this helps diminish the stigma that once surrounded it. Growing up, no one talked about mental health ever. It was shunned, swept under the rug and just simply not discussed. I’m happy that . . .

my children are going to grow up in a world where they can understand and talk about how they’re feeling and get the help they need if the need arises.

For this week’s article I really want to focus on mental health in new moms. I know I’ve talked about this a few times but it really never is said enough. Becoming a mom is one of the most thrilling experiences of your life. Holding that little being that you carried, fed, sang to and thought of for nine months is amazing. But once you come off that high, you have a little being that you are fully in charge of. Just like that. You don’t have to pass a test, you don’t have to pay anyone, you don’t get to pick one …they’re just yours forever. Which is amazing and so insanely scary all at once.

New moms need support. Not opinions, not judgment, not pressure – support. They need someone to listen to them, they need someone to bring them meals, they need someone to pop in and give them 20 minutes to shower, they need a friend who’s been there to tell them it’ll be okay and if it’s not okay they’ll help them make it okay. In this world with COVID these things are happening less and less. We are not reaching out as much as we once did for fear that we should not be in this new family’s space. While that may be true, there are still some creative ways to reach out from a distance. Read on for ideas on how to help new moms after the birth of a new baby.

I’ve been searching for great tips on how to help new moms cope with the life change of becoming a mom. But not only are ways to help new moms important but it’s important for new moms to also know when they need help. The truth is, it may be difficult to ask for help, it really depends on you as a parent. If you’re having a hard time asking for help but you feel like you’re sinking and can’t do it all (you’re so not alone many of us have been there), here are some ways to ask for help:

1. As I’ve said before, give up the guilt. You’re not programmed to do it all. In the early days when day turns into night and night into day and you’re living in a fog, you have to let some things slide. Your house doesn’t have to be ready for visitors, your laundry doesn’t have to be up to date, the crumbs don’t have to be vacuumed. Just focus on what’s important, eating — both you and the baby, bonding with your baby and getting sleep.
2. Ask for help. Choose helpers wisely, this is not a time to have people that cause drama and stress in your life around you. Be specific about what you need help with (laundry, errands, food prep or holding the baby while you sleep). Spread your help out and keep in mind when your partner will be going back to work. I enjoyed family time alone when my partner was home but enjoyed help when he was back at work. During COVID times, help may be in the form of prepped meals, running errands for you, porch visits, phone calls, FaceTime visits and any other creative ways we’ve discovered over this past year.
3. Share the load. Let dad find his role in the baby’s life, make it an active role. Maybe he’ll do the burping and changing. Or perhaps dressing and rocking baby, whatever he is responsible for, allow him the confidence in choosing his own way to do things with the baby. This will enable them to bond which is just as important as mommy and baby bonding.
4. Just say yes. As much as it’s hard to accept help sometimes if people offer they want to help.

   Keep a list on the fridge with chores that need to be done for quick ideas.

5. If you don’t have help nearby, here are some ideas on how to get help. Hire a cleaning lady temporarily, order groceries online or pay a service to have them delivered and freeze meals ahead of your baby’s arrival.
6. Talk to someone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, scared, worried talk to someone, anyone. Find other new moms in your town, join a group online, talk to family, neighbours, nurses, doctors, 811 number, anyone. So many of us have been in the exact same position and are happy to listen. Let them help you when you need it.

   Above all else, remember that what you are going through is most likely temporary.

   You will adjust to your baby and being a mother quicker than you think. I remember thinking that I would never again sleep or leave the house, and I did. I promise, you will too.

   Until next week, be kind to yourself and remember you rock momma.