SHELLEY HEAPHY for The Parents’ Voice

When a friend suggested I write an article on this topic I was hesitant because it’s a struggle for me right now with my kids. I am dealing with this so very much right now and have been since March. COVID-19 has really changed our children’s (and our) lives so much, it literally is all they hear about.

At the beginning of COVID-19 I was really limiting what my children heard about the virus and giving them only very basic information. I thought okay, I’m doing well they aren’t so worried, we’re doing exciting things … but then one day I heard a loud beeping sound. I had no idea where it was coming from. That’s when I realized . . .

the radio station they listened to in their bedroom had an hourly report on COVID-19 for the City of Ottawa. They were hearing way more than I thought. I knew I had to step up my game and talk more about what was going on in our world, but how?

We muddled through the spring with lots of reassuring, listening and trying to find fun ways to spend our time. However, I continued to search for ways to reassure and comfort them about what they heard on the news, from school, friends, radio, social media, the Internet and family. I finally came across a great article with some helpful tips on how to help our kids cope with news, read on to see if any of them can help you.

Find out what your child knows

1. Find out what your child knows ­— Start a conversation about what they’ve heard and let them lead with what they know. This way you can see how deep you have to go and what you have to correct.
2. Consider your child’s age and development­— Developmentally, children aged seven to eight start to understand that news is real, children younger than this have a hard time differentiating between fantasy and reality. Simplify news for younger children in ways they can understand. For instance, with COVID-19 don’t go into details about how someone may end up in the hospital hooked up to a ventilator instead saying that it is a virus that can make you sick.

   Answer questions honestly and briefly

3. Tell the truth but only give your child the amount of information that they are looking for: try to calm fears.
4. Listen carefully ­— sometimes this can be the hardest part. I had all these thoughts about what to say to my kids and what they might want to know when the question they had was something simple. That’s all I had to answer for them to feel better. If I hadn’t listened I may have given out way more information than needed, which could’ve caused more stress instead of less.
5. It’s okay to not have the answer ­— I found this to be very accurate in our current climate. With rules and restrictions changing so frequently it’s hard to be able to answer some questions when we just don’t know. It’s okay to tell your child that you will look for the answer and when you find it you’ll tell them. If anything this can set a good example for them to see that just like them we don’t always have the answers.

   Limit exposure to the news

6. Limit the exposure in your home ­­— you won’t have control over some avenues of your child hearing news, but limit the ones you do have control over. Don’t have the news on in front of your child or only do so for short amounts of time. Watch how much you discuss the news in front of your child. If one thing is for certain they hear everything you are saying, even when you don’t think they’re listening. Only say things in front of them that is appropriate for them to hear.
7. Decide how much news is okay for your child. This one really depends on your child’s age. If you have a teenager it’s important to discuss how hearing too much news will impact them because they’re going to be exposing themselves to the news as much as they want. You will have more control over what the younger children are exposed to.
8. Always watch with them. when children are younger you can watch with them to explain and discuss as they are watching as well as to turn it off when it gets too much for your child.

   Help kids feel in control

9. Encourage your child to talk ­— I found it hard this past spring, one of my children was deeply affected with the changes in our lives. It took a long time for her to talk freely about her fears. Once she did though, we worked together to find ways for her to feel less anxious about what was going on in our world.
10. Teach your child to be prepared ­— This works well if your child is worried about something like a natural disaster, for instance a fire. Work together as a family to be prepared for a fire in your home. In this case, we talk a lot about how we can keep ourselves safe as well as those we love. These are ways we can be prepared and feel in control.
11. Keep the conversation going ­— Check in often, ask questions about stories they’ve heard or might hear. Ask questions like “What do you think about …?” or “How do you think this happened? The more you talk about these things hopefully the more comfortable your child will become with discussing topics in general.
12. Watch for stress­— Watch for changes in your child’s behaviour and contact a doctor if you have any concerns.

    I hope that some of these tips can help you navigate these tricky news times with your child. It has given me some insight and tips I plan to use with my children. Above all else, please stay safe, happy and healthy. Lots of outdoor time over here ­— we are so enjoying this huge dump of snow!