SHELLEY HEAPHY for The Parents’ Voice

I’m sure many of us can say that 2020 really kicked us in the pants. It has been a trying, difficult year in so many ways. For many it has been a rough financial year and definitely an emotional one. When we said goodbye to 2019 we had high hopes for a terrific 2020. I wouldn’t mind erasing 2020 from my mind – my hope lies in 2021.

2020 was a rough, sad, unbelievable year. It’s hard for me to find a positive spin to what we’re going through but a neighbor said to me recently that . . .

if COVID has done anything good it’s brought back our back yard. It’s also brought us a lot more family time and I definitely agree with that. Although I’m really grateful for the truth in that statement I’m ready to bring back family gatherings and birthday celebrations. Here’s praying we get this back. I can’t imagine a world that continues in 2020 style.

When a new year begins I replay all the memories we’ve made as a family, all the things we’ve accomplished, how much each child has grown, the sadnesses we’ve experienced, the goodbyes we’ve had to say and on and on. It’s amazing to look back at a year full of memories.

A year really does pass by so quickly. When we look back at photos (on my camera because of course I haven’t printed them out yet) I see squishier faces and shorter legs. I see experiences we’ve had and places we visited. Lots of smiles and tears from this past year and just so much to appreciate and cherish. As we look forward to 2021, we may set aside some new goals for ourselves. Resolutions can range from eating healthier to exercising every day to saving change, etc. Read on for some ideas in case you’re looking for some parental resolutions.

1. My 2021 goal is the same as last year. It gets harder and harder to win it – I’m always trying to put my phone away. I seem to always have it, checking messages from family and friends, checking emails and just always on the hook available.

   I try to think about life when my parents were my age and it’s hard to think of a time when people weren’t always available. I think it’s important to be in the moment with your children, experiencing every day and special moments, witnessing expressions, gestures and special moments between children. To do so I have to be present. I have to remember that messages, texts and emails will still be there when the kids are in bed.

2. Let your work day end when you leave the office. Choose a time in the evening that you may allow yourself to work on work or texts/emails and stick to that devoted time so that the rest of your time can be reserved for family. With phones and tablets so ever-present in our world, employees and employers are always available. With so many people working from home it’s more difficult than ever to separate your work life from home life. This may be the resolution you’re searching for.

   Saying yes more often. Sometimes at the worst moments children ask to play games, or go sliding or colour a picture together ­— trying to say yes more often, might mean that one night instead of cooking supper you’re going to play Kerplunk (perfect night for cereal!). However you choose to say yes embrace it.

3. Having more patience. Probably every single parent has this on their resolution list. Kids certainly can try your patience. It could be the constant fighting with siblings (ahhh), asking the same question tens of thousands of times, forgetting their chores, leaving dirty dishes on the counter, we all resolve to have more patience in the new year. Maybe try counting to 10 before you blow up? It’s a tough one that’s for sure.
4. Making time for more than mom/dad titles. Resolving to ensure you take care of you is a very important, often forgotten resolution. Carve out a chunk of time for you weekly/monthly/daily whatever is possible and stick to it this year. You’re just as important as the other members of your family. Equally important is making time for each other, as a couple and not just parents. Hard to find time for everything but balance is key. If you make it your resolution you will work harder to make it happen. 2020 has proven its difficult to find something to fill your cup — this resolution includes being creative and finding something that you can do that makes you feel rejuvenated.
5. Healthy lifestyle. Most of us start out with good intentions whether it is healthier eating or deciding to begin exercising. For some this goal becomes a healthy part of a new lifestyle, for others it gets dropped by the way side when it doesn’t actually fit into your lifestyle. If this one resonates with you, take the time to change old habits and create new ones to help make your family healthier in the new year.
6. Spending time with extended family — grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins can be instrumental in our daily lives. Make time for them. The 2020 way to make time for each other seems to be through Facetime, window visits, outdoor meetings. We do what we have to do, creativity has a role here too. Our times together are so much more special this year and going into 2021. Take advantage of each and every time you get to spend time together.
7. Okay, I saved my favourite one for last, one of the cutest/coolest resolutions I found is also starting a new tradition. It works like this, in January you start with an empty jar, each week the family sits down to add a note of something good that happened that week. On New Year’s eve you empty the jar and read the good things. How great is this as a way to reflect on each week as a family and sit back and remember all the wonderful moments of the year? We are going to try and do this one this year. I wish I had done this in 2020, I could use the positivity now at the end of 2020. I resolve to do it this New Year.
8. Try to stay away from fad resolutions that aren’t actually going to fit into your lifestyle. Whatever resonates with you that needs a change in your life or you want to change in your life, put your mind to it and jump for it this year. Write it out and stick it on the fridge as a daily reminder and make it happen. We wish you a Happy New Year full of love, good health and many treasured memories.
9. The Parents’ Voice Shawville is excited to wish all parents, grandparents, caregivers and children a Happy New Year. Cheers to a healthy, happy and more normal 2021.