Becoming a parent is a thrilling and exciting time in a person’s life. It is absolutely magical. It can also be described as exhausting, taxing, stressful, exuberant and can be characterized as a huge (or the biggest) change in one’s life. The changes can start as early as when you are trying to get pregnant, or once you’ve (or your spouse) has found out they’re pregnant. The changes in your lifestyle and diet are immediate, whereas . . .
the changes to your life that occur once your baby arrives are hugely anticipated. I have found and compiled a great list of some of the big things that no one really told you were going to happen once you became parents. Read on for a chuckle, and remember you sure aren’t alone facing all these changes.
No one told me what life would be like when I actually brought my baby home. We talk so much about pregnancy expectations but what about those first few weeks at home with no idea what you’re doing? Not only are you recovering from the most intense, (painful), out of body experience ever but you’re doing that while trying to make sure your baby is getting enough milk (and not jaundiced), that their poop is the right colour, that they’re sleeping enough hours and what the heck does that cry mean?
No one told me that all the decisions I belaboured over (cloth diapers, homemade food, breastfeeding, co-sleeping or not co-sleeping) really don’t matter when your kids are out of that stage. Even though the decisions you face in each and every moment feel so magnified, often times in the grand scheme of your child’s life they’re not so huge.
When your preschooler is still sneaking a crumb of something off the floor, that homemade puree you stayed up until midnight making is long forgotten. Give yourself a break once in a while.
Even though you get warned by those around you about little things that will change in your life once you enter parenthood, like “You’re never going to sleep again,” your life’s about to change. You’re just never ready, what you imagine in your mind can never actually compete with the real deal. It is impossible to fully prepare yourself for the 180 your life is about to take, until you’re in it. It isn’t as though it’s a marathon and you can collect stores of energy for the remainder of the tiring years.
No one prepares you for the constant judgment. Your decisions will be judged, talked about, discussed by people around you, well forever. No one really tells you how hard it is to come face to face with defending your actions and decisions.
Does it matter what other people think about you and your decisions? No, but is it easy to ignore what other people think? No. In the end you and your partner know your child best, make your decisions and stick with them.
No one ever tells you that each stage is hard in a different way, and that you may not love each stage. Are you a bad parent for not enjoying the newborn stage? Absolutely not, it is both so rewarding and exhausting. Are you a bad parent for wishing your child older? No of course not, maybe you will connect better when you’re in the middle of playing pirates with your daughter than when you’re trying to sing her to sleep.
No one told me that communicating and connecting with my spouse would take a huge curve once parenthood arrived. Absolutely every way my husband and I used to communicate changed the minute we came home with our first. We both were in completely different spheres (or so it felt). I had all these thoughts and visions to live up to and he got to just rock and hold her when he was home. It took a while for us to find an equilibrium and understand each other and we still work on finding time and ways to connect as a couple and communicate about all things in life amidst the daily chaos that is our life.
No one ever told me how challenging breastfeeding would be. This one rings so loud for me. It was and still is one of the things that I cried the most about. With my three children my breastfeeding experience were so different. One child had a positive year long breastfeeding journey, one had two weeks of breast milk and the other five months. I hated that it wasn’t just a natural thing for me. I felt woefully inadequate and really just had no idea it would be so difficult. No one talked about this before I had my first daughter. I was not prepared for it not working out. I spent a lot of time working though a lot of emotions and finally I will say to you all, fed is best, just find what works best for you and don’t feed into the stigma surrounding how you feed your baby that exists everywhere you look.
No one told me that my outlook on life would change once I had a baby. Now, everything revolves around this human (or these humans) that matters the absolute most in my life. Their happiness, safety, future and well being are how each and every decision you make is shaped. You most likely will not think of yourself first for about 30 years, and even then your kids will likely still play into your decisions.
No one told me that having a baby was like wearing my heart on my sleeve. A friend once told me this and boy was she so exactly right. From the moment we give birth we are hoping only for the best for our child. As our children get older and we send them out into the world without us we worry about their well being the whole time. Goodbye worry free days.
No one ever told me how much jam filled smiles, belly laughs and tight hugs would mean to me. With all the ups and downs of parenting everything is so easily forgotten and erased with the touch of your child. No matter the age when they give back some love it really is the best moments of your life.
No one ever tells you that one in three pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many people don’t know this staggering statistic. We still talk so little about the pain and fear of losing a baby. Sending hugs and love to all parents who have a lost a child, there are no words to help dull this pain. Thinking of you all xo.
New parents know this, we are never prepared for the journey of parenthood but there really truly is no better title or job in life. The reminder that these tiny humans came from you is truly the most remarkable feeling in the world. Everything does work out. You live through the hard moments, you enjoy the beautiful moments and you learn from some of the nasty moments. One thing we do need reminding of is how quickly it all goes by.
