I have always felt that family meal times were important. I grew up lucky enough to sit down almost every evening and enjoy supper as a family. I am part of a family of six, we were four daughters with two parents.
For as long as memories stretch, our family sat to have supper together every night. During my childhood, there were chunks of time that my dad worked shift work and wasn’t always home, then my two older sisters moved away much before my younger sister, and the one night a week my mom worked late, even with those memories I remember sitting at the table more nights than not with my family.
The table was always set, home cooked meals were made, the phone which at the time was hooked to a wall was off the hook, the television was turned off and the conversation was mandatory. Even when we weren’t interested. We all took turns talking about our day, sharing stories of what happened or didn’t, then we did the dishes and went on with our evening. Why do you think this memory has stuck out for me?
Thinking back, I honestly think this was . . .
a huge reason our family was so connected. Don’t get me wrong, we went through our own rough patches of telling fibs, fighting with each other, angry outbursts, silent treatments, all the regulars. At the end of it all though, we came back to meet at the dinner table. Like it or not, we knew it wasn’t an option. We knew we could sit and brood but it would still have to be at the table with our family.
I look back and think this was when my parents could find out a bit about what was happening in our lives. They got to ask questions, find out who the friends were at that moment, weekend plans, how our school day went, etc. I know if I asked my sisters we would all come back to realize we felt listened to. How important for us all to feel, a moment to have a voice in a day filled with routine, activities and time apart from one another.
As a parent now to three active kids every night meals together which was always my goal is now a tad impossible. We reserve four nights a week that are our nights to eat as a family. They clamor for their turn to go through daily events, they ask about our day and it gives us a chance to discuss upcoming things happening in our life. It’s conversation time for us in otherwise busy, hectic, chaotic days.
I can only hope and pray that our lines of communication stay open through teenage years and more complicated situations that arise. I think having a time carved out for your family to truly connect without distractions could be worth the moon. No phones, no text messages, no emails, just moments when your focus is on each other. We all need that. Your kids would know that this was their time to share important moments, happy moments, sad moments and all those in between and that when they get to the table everyone’s ready to listen.
I’m lucky to have been raised with this experience and hope my kids feel that way someday also.
Until next week.
