I don’t know if it’s summer vacation or the heat, but I’m in serious need of some help with keeping calm and being patient with my kids. I absolutely love almost every moment of spending summer with the kiddos this year, I realize how lucky I am to get this time with them, and I relish the memories we’re making together. But sometimes, just sometimes I blow out a loud sigh of exasperation (that my youngest has now started to mimic when he’s annoyed!) and raise my voice and well, lose my patience. I’m sure many of you can relate to these feelings of frustration, and that we all have them regularly, but the question is how can we avoid losing our cool with our kiddos?

First of all, the best thing you can do for your kids is showing empathy. Mustering up all your empathy to deal with the situation is so vital (even when it’s the fifth time they ask you to go see their dance, and you really need to get started on supper) you doing this for them will make them feel so valued and important.
Sometimes just respecting that they’ve asked you to do something by following through, will help diffuse the situation. Around here, my name gets called about 25,000 times a day, sometimes in a row, I do find though that when I answer quickly they are so pleased, so relieved and pretty grateful! I just have to remind myself of this!!!
We have to take care of ourselves, fill our own buckets if you will. Sometimes our lack of patience comes from being run down. We may have had a week of little sleep, which often causes us to heat unhealthily, and therefore gives us less energy. Do something for you! Call in the troops, get a sitter and go to the movies or out for dinner, or a run, or to the gym. Whatever it is you need, find a way to make it happen. When you return from some you time you will be refilled and your patience will be restored.
Sometimes the situation is so impossible to bring back down (picture a five year old screaming as loud as they can, stomping their feet, slamming doors) really, no wonder you’ve lost your patience over something as simple as being unable to fold their blanket “perfectly” (yes, this really happens). You’ve tried talking to them, helping them fold it, reassuring them that they’ve folded the best they can to their ability, and still outrageous tantrum. At this moment, you warrant a time out. Walk into your room (once you’ve made certain all kids are with someone, or are somewhere safe i.e their bedroom), close the door, lie on your bed and count to 20 (or 100). Your blood pressure will return to normal, your heart rate will slow down and you will be ok. Calm down and go back and talk to that 5-year-old you love so much!
Sometimes, something as simple as a change of scenery can help restore your patience. Get out of the house, go for a walk, take the kids to the park and help them burn some energy, invite a friend over for a playdate, take out a toy they haven’t seen in a while. Change their mind and your own!
Saying YES more often. Ok, so I actually love this suggestion. How many times a day do you have to say no to your children? Really, probably 100. For example, no, you can’t jump off the playhouse roof; no, you can’t have ice cream for breakfast; no, we can’t go there today. What if some of those no’s turned into yes’s? Imagine how shocked and thrilled they’d be? So obviously, you can’t risk their health and safety, but sometimes I say no because whatever they’ve asked for will be too much work for me, or too hard to clean up. If once a day you said yes to something fun and exciting, they’d appreciate that. That in itself can be what you all need to help with your patience level. When it’s something you’re about to say no to, think it over and if you can turn it into a yes watch their eyes light up.
When all else fails, do some deep breathing, share with your child that your patience is running out (I really do say a prayer out loud in front of my children asking for more patience – this is when they know I mean business), send everyone to their room for a few minutes of peace, when your partner gets home take a 10 minute break on your own, take a hot bath, cuddle up with them at bedtime for that reminder of how sweet and special they are (they really are so cute when they’re sleeping aren’t they, haha).
Whatever you do, try and remember these days we have with them, they are so short.
Soon they’ll be tweens, teens, adults and we’ll be wishing for these moments again. As the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short.