I’m not even going to pretend I’m an expert on this topic. I’ve struggled with this concept my whole life, and continue to. Because of that I know how extremely important it is to have a positive body image for my children.

In large part body image has affected every part of my life for as long as I can remember and not always positively. What we see on TV, read online and in magazines or hear from other people impacts all of us so much.

What we see is what we think we should be, even if it doesn’t look or isn’t healthy. If adults feel that way it’s only amplified with children. They are still too young to weed out appropriate information, if they see it they think it’s right.

How we feel about our bodies can directly affect our daily actions. It may be the reason we don’t try out for the volleyball team or running club. It might be why we walk with our arms crossed and don’t want to stand up in front of the class. Having a positive self-esteem is vital to making friends, being happy and thriving.

We are our children’s most important role models. It’s for this reason that we have to ensure our own body image is in check so we can help our children develop a positive body image.

Unknowingly, I know I pass on some of my own body image issues just through the way I hold my body or try on countless outfits before being satisfied with one. As a result, I’ve given myself rules to follow when around my children, in regards to body image and healthy eating.

Again, I do not pretend to know a lot on this topic. It’s just what I hope might help my children develop positive attitudes towards themselves.

• With physical activity we always focus on why it’s important for our bodies to get exercise. We highlight things like, “it helps our bodies sleep when we get fresh air,” “it makes our bodies stronger when we walk, run, kick, swing…” I try not to emphasize on physical appearance, “you’ll be skinnier if you get exercise.” This takes away from how good it makes our bodies feel when we exercise and focuses more on making us look different. All people are born with a body type, density of bones, fast or slow metabolism etc., this cannot be changed, and that’s okay. The goal should be that each person do what is right for their body and feel proud in their own skin.

  Recently, I’ve added a daily workout into my routine. The kids know about my workout and support me by allowing me the time to do it; they often join in with me. I make sure to highlight the reasons for my workout – to feel healthy, get stronger and have more energy to play with them – here’s hoping that I’m passing on a healthy habit.

• With food, we focus more on healthy fuel for our body rather than saying things like “we can’t eat that because it’s fattening” instead we say “this food helps make us strong, the protein in this chicken is what helps us run fast,” “this food might taste good but it doesn’t give our body the energy it needs to jump high.” We try not to ban things with sugar, instead saying they are something we can have a little bit of after we’ve had healthy food to fuel our body, or we call these foods occasional foods. We also discuss how much sugar is in processed/packaged foods, like, “did you know that five grams of sugar is one whole teaspoon of sugar?” An interesting experiment to do with school-aged children is to visually show them how much sugar is in some of the food we eat. A visual can be jarring not only to our children but to us too. Putting into perspective what they’re eating/drinking can really help teach them moderation.
• I model what I want my girls to see. Getting dressed has always been a point of contention for myself. I always criticize myself in the mirror most of the time hating my reflection but I know my kids will see that. I’m not sure if many of you moms get dressed in peace, but I rarely do.

  So, instead I choose an outfit and stick with it (it’s really hard some days, if I really have to change out of it I do it in private and when asked why I just say something like that shirt had a stain, or I’m saving it for a different day.) I see my seven year old doing this already in her mirror – and changing outfits when she doesn’t like the way things look (how has this happened already?).

• We are always beautiful/handsome and not only beautiful/handsome. My daughters have picked up the fancy bug, and sometimes they allude to the fact that they are beautiful when they have headbands on or fancy dresses. We tell them they are beautiful in the bath, in their pjs, in their dirty sandy clothes, in their fancy clothes. I also try really hard to mix in other great characteristics. Not only are they beautiful but they are smart, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, patient, helpful, friendly, persistent … and the list goes on. These characteristics really do hold more weight than beauty and we often forget to highlight them and so do other people talking to our children.

  Often the cute dresses are what stand out the most in the checkout line. I’m trying desperately to show them that helping their little brother from falling is so much more important in life than being cute. It’s definitely an uphill battle, as one such comment about beauty from a stranger can hold more weight than a comment about kindness from their mom, but I continue the battle and won’t give up.

  As mentioned a few times, I really do not pretend to know what I’m doing when it comes to passing on positive body image messages.

  I’m trying the best way I know how. I continue to strive to learn more on this topic and truly believe that it is never too late or too early to help guide our children towards a healthy body image.