Dear Editor,

The pandemic and other world events have forced us to rely upon the internet for many functions that we did in person and in 3D previously. Government meetings at all levels have relied on Zoom for our communications . . .

Those of us who are old enough remember having done life tasks in 3D before, have some simplistic old-world solutions to new-world situations. Among these is one that works to shield us from prying eyes through our computers, when we don’t want to be seen, tape over the camera. Leave a corner sticking out, so you can easily pull it away when you are ready to face the meeting. I suggest ‘frog’ tape, as it is bright green in colour, so that you will remember that it’s there, when you do want to be seen by the world wide web, and it won’t leave a sticky mess on your screen, as black electrical tape or duct tape might do. Don’t use the red ‘tuck’ tape, because you might never get it off. 

Another solution would be to hire a teenager to show you how to turn off the video feed, while you do things other than the important meeting. I know it’s there on Zoom, beside the microphone mute button, but perhaps the federal government is using some high-class specialized software, similar to the fabulously unsuccessful Phoenix payroll system, which lacks this easy access video blank function. Just remember, that when the meeting is on and the video feed is open, is not the time to take off your clothes or pee in a cup. Tape is your friend. 

When we elected a former environmental lawyer to Parliament, I had imagined that we might be discussing the government’s policies regarding petroleum pipelines or nuclear waste dumps, or overdue promises for better internet, but here we are, waist-deep in the world of political pornography,  swapping simplistic life hacks to shield our private acts from the all-seeing eye of the internet. 

Robert Wills 

Shawville and Thorne, Que.