SHELLEY HEAPHY for The Parents’ Voice
COVID has definitely taken its toll on each and every one of us. Some of us are definitely feeling the loneliness, others are frustrated and fed up, still others continue to worry and are terrified. I place no judgment on you and how you feel or cope with the world’s current state. I do however, worry about so many people, it feels a bit like a weight is crushing down on me.
Not only do I worry about my own children and the effects that COVID is having on them, I worry for . . .
our elderly people who are facing such lonely times. I worry about those who have their own business and how lockdowns and closures affect them and those whose jobs are affected. I hate how COVID and COVID restrictions are hurting so many people and I long for a time that normalcy returns for all of us.
One group of people that I worry isolation is really hard on is first time parents. If you are a parent, can you think back to that first baby and what life was like for you? I think back to having my first baby and the presence of community and family was huge. It pulled me out of some hard times. Our first baby was colicky and for the first six months, she cried almost all the time – unless we were carrying her in the snuggly (which we did a lot). We lived in the city and my husband travelled to work and was gone for close to 12 hours every day. I quickly realized that I had to fill those days to keep the baby and myself occupied and sane.
We did baby classes, play dates, walks with friends and visited family all the time. Because of restrictions due to COVID I feel like first time parents might be the most isolated. Yes, they have fresh baby snuggles (oh gosh, these are the absolute best) but they also have lost the assistance of family members, they’ve lost all baby classes where we can chat with other parents, playgroups or play dates. Not to mention they are faced with the fear of being around people who may or may not be sick — they do not want the baby to get sick.
Luckily they can still go for walks and visit with other moms or family members outdoors but let’s be fair, that isn’t always ideal with a new baby. If you know a new mom or dad, reach out. Ask them how they are holding up, be there to talk and listen and counsel if needed and wanted.
FaceTime can be a great tool during these times and it is so great to be able to see the baby. Drop off meals, show up to take the baby for a walk while mom gets a shower or nap. Go along for a walk with mom and baby so she has an opportunity to chat. Be creative, there are still ways to see each other while respecting the COVID restrictions.
If you are a new parent and feel isolated, sad, lonely or just plain bored please reach out to someone. Another parent will no doubt fully understand and support what you’re going through. We’ve been there.
Family, whether in your town or not can be there to listen/talk/tell stories (we parents are so great at replaying our own experiences.) Get fresh air every day, even if it’s just five minutes on the porch — sometimes that’s all it takes to renew you for hours.
I am truly sorry that your first experience at parenthood is masked with the cloud of COVID but do promise that each and every memory you are making with your new little one is golden. You will someday look back on these days as the best moments of parenthood and be proud that you did it, even during a world wide pandemic!
