SHELLEY HEAPHY for Parents’ Voice
This topic has been on my mind for a while now and in light of recent news events I feel it is important to investigate this topic as a parent. How can we ensure our children are inclusive to all people? We must teach our children that all people are equal from the start and that all differences are accepted. In this beautifully, diverse world . . .
we live in the opportunity definitely presents itself numerous times. Here are a few tips that may help you encourage inclusion in your children’s lives.
1. Support individuality — Find moments to support and encourage individuality in all children. Remind them that appearance, behavior, preferences, and all other possible differences are all accepted. To fail to teach them to acknowledge differences makes it difficult for our children to live in a multi-ethnic environment. This statement holds true for race, gender identity, socioeconomic status, disability as well as other areas of difference. We want to set our children up to succeed and contribute positively in our world.
2. Intentionally seek out diverse events, literature and activities to experience with your child. Try to find teachable moments that actively allow you to talk about diversity. Seek out any events that celebrate diversity and bring your kids to them. We are lucky to live so close to big cities that highlight more diversity, if we cannot find ways to expose our children here in small towns we can find ways not too far away.
Discuss advertising that you see together and point out any bad behaviour towards diversity you see and discuss why it is inappropriate and how it could be better.
Choosing story books that showcase different cultures, gender roles, language, families, abilities along with any other differences you can think of is a great way for young children to see and hear about differences. It also allows them to ask questions of things that they see and for you to answer them properly.
3. Use appropriate words for your audience. With young kids the history behind why we shouldn’t call people certain names may be too in depth – however, modeling the proper terms becomes habit for your children and then natural for them to also use. For instance, I learned long ago that a child is a child first. We should say a child with a disability and not a disabled child. However, your school-aged child is getting old enough to understand some of Canada’s history. Knowing ways our country has failed in the past and in some aspects continues to fail helps highlight the way we should be acting now.
4. Accept that your child may say something derogatory without knowing the difference. The important thing to remember is that you should handle this in a non-judgmental way. You can say something like “let’s talk about that”, “what made you think that or what made you notice that.” This is when you can correct any misconceptions or false information they’ve been told. Don’t be afraid to apologize for something they’ve said, it happens. The important part is discussing it with your child often afterwards and in a comfortable setting so that they aren’t feeling judged.
5. Break down the “them and us” and point out similarities. It is with a strong sense of commonality that children begin to develop empathy and feel in their hearts how others may feel. We are all part of the human race made by our maker, we all deserve love and compassion.
6. If your children enjoy television and movies (I don’t know many that don’t) seek out movies and shows that reflect diversity and counter-stereotyping roles. It will be great for them to see these behaviors reflected in the media and on television.
7. Model inclusive behaviours and language. If you forget everything else I’ve said, remember that our children hear, listen and almost always mimic everything we do. That said, above all else adjust your behaviour and language to reflect inclusivity, if you don’t already practice it.
I continue to learn daily how to promote diversity in our lives, I am a work in progress. The goal is to have the discussions about diversity. When I don’t know the answer to a question my child asks, I find out. Giving them accurate information about cultures, gender identity, gender roles, religions and anything else they may ask about is my goal. This is just a light discussion on the topic, there is just so much more to cover, but I think realizing it’s important is the first step.
