It’s not easy for them either

I spend a lot of time writing, thinking and feeling that life as a mom with small children is hard. Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally grateful that I was granted these wonderful beings, but man some moments are hard.
I read a short article last week that somehow illuminated a light bulb in my brain. The message was plain and simple, it’s not easy for them either. And that’s a thought that hadn’t occurred to me before, I get so caught up in the exhaustion, the constant demands that I forget about how hard life for them can be.

Think about it, they can’t communicate their needs properly. How frustrating is it to point, scream, pull and do everything in your power to get what you want only to not get it? Or to repeat a word (ie. cookie instead of cake or toast or cracker) that they think means what they want only to get confused stares from those they love?
We are going through this right now with our littlest one. He does everything in his power to tell us (without words) what he needs and sometimes I just don’t know what that is. He persists, and often gets it himself or we figure it out but honestly it’s so much work and so much energy. How would I feel if I had to do that all day long for everything I wanted?
Or how about the fact that we rarely let them make their own choices in regards to food. They don’t get to walk to the fridge or cupboard and eat whatever their heart desires, we decide for them. “You can have cucumbers or tomatoes,” “I want cheese.” Sorry kiddo, cheese isn’t an option.
Of course we have their best interests at heart and I’m not saying we shouldn’t choose for them most of the time but the bottom line is, this is hard to deal with for some kids.
We are constantly stopping them from doing the things they love; it may be to keep them safe, or because of routine (it’s nap time, it’s time for a bath), or because of a schedule (we need to head to daycare right now, or we need to go buy some food). Whatever the case may be – they certainly don’t care about needing food or you having to get to work. It’s hard, they are not programmed to care about routines and errands, yet we expect them to – every day. We get frustrated when they have a tantrum or make their bodies go jellylike in the middle of the parking lot. It’s not only hard for us in those moments, it’s hard for them too.
They aren’t able to get what they want when they want it. They have to depend on us for the most part. One example the author used that resonated with me was the example of a child asking for “wawa” right at bedtime during tuck in. This is the time of day that parents are done. They’ve taxed out their patience for the day and need to recharge. Children are right there with us – done for the day. I’ve been in the moment where a child has asked for water and I’ve annoyingly said “no, you don’t need water, wait until morning.” On the other side of that though, I always have a glass of water on my nightstand at bedtime never having to wait until morning. Is it fair that I decide if my child is truly thirsty or not? Can they get their own cup of water at bedtime? The answer of course is no, they depend on me to fulfill their needs because they can’t or aren’t allowed.
It’s really made me take pause and remember this – they have it hard too. My favourite line from the article was this, “So when they push us to the edge of our limits, let’s try to remember that we’re doing the same thing to them.” This is so true and I’m truly trying to remember this at the most difficult time of the day. Read the full article @ http://boston.citymomsblog.com/motherhood/its-hard-for-them-too/.
The Parents’ Voice is hosting a School Supply Drive for the second year in a row. Visit the following locations to drop off any items you would like to donate, Hursty’s Bar and Grill, Cartrites, Royal Bank of Canada or Stedman’s V&S. Look for our poster on Facebook for more information! Thank you for your donations