In the eight years since we’ve had children, my husband and I have never left them for more than a night. We’ve been gone at separate times, gone for one night and have had date nights, but never more than that.
We’ve always been a bit apprehensive about leaving them with anyone for an extended period of time for various reasons. For one, it is so much work to manage three kids, when you’re not used to it – it’s exhausting.
Second, we’ve always been met with resistance any time we’ve brought it up with the kids. With them so adamant about us staying home, we’ve worried we wouldn’t enjoy ourselves if we knew they were upset or giving grandparents a hard time.
We rely heavily on our parents for any overnight babysitting and are very conscious of how tiring our crew can be. This year with a four, six and eight-year-old we were finally comfortable leaving them for five nights. The kids were very excited at the prospect of time with their grandparents. We also thought it was a good time now that we have only one kiddo at home during the day and two in school. So we did it. We are so lucky that our parents were willing and able to stay with them for us.
Leaving was hard. We negotiated, reassured, made promises, hugged, kissed, put them to bed and we left. We left lists, we did groceries, prepped snacks, wrote out schedules and hoped for the best. We knew they were in capable hands but no matter, it’s still hard to let go of the control of knowing where everyone is and what everyone is doing at all times.
After the first day, we began to enjoy ourselves and started relaxing. They were happy back home and we realized that this may only happen in another eight years and had to make the absolute most of this trip! So we did! We did the sights, enjoyed live music, slept in and didn’t make meals. It was perfect and was so good for us.
A friend recently said to me that a vacation without the kids added 10 years to her life. I chuckled at that but actually really felt the truth in it when we were away. Having time to focus on me was really good for the soul. With young children and busy families, spouses often end up coming second. Your marriage often takes a backseat to regular day stuff. Not necessarily meant to be this way but with so much happening and required of each of you all the time, it happens. This opportunity for us to focus on and pay attention to each other was something we needed more than we realized. It really did rejuvenate us as parents and as a couple.
After a few days, we started to look forward to our homecoming. We had planned a date night with the kids when we returned and everyone was allowed to sleep in our bed the first night home.
The excitement seeing them again was so overwhelming. When we walked in the door they had a surprise waiting for us: all of our favourite treats, our pjs ready and snuggle time watching our favourite HGTV and catching up about our week.
The whole night our youngest kept saying “I really very missed you” with smiles and hugs galore. The girls were also so huggy and snuggly and happy to be reunited with us. It certainly warmed the heart.
If being gone was good for the soul, reuniting was absolutely heavenly. We all had tears in our eyes and were so happy to be back together again.
All this to say, I had resisted being away from the kids for so long that having finally done it I have to say it was beneficial to all involved. If everything lines up for you to leave the kids behind for a few days, even when feeling apprehensive about it, I urge you to give it a try. It will be good for your soul, for your couple’s soul and for your kids’ souls.
